Top 40 Things Considerate Golfers Do
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If you're in an unhealthy relationship now, an easy sign is that you rarely feel recharged-- you feel like you give and give. You often feel unbalanced and you may begin to question the value of the very things that are at your core. Chances are YOU have a lot of emotional capacity; that characteristic is what they count on and feed on.
I asked the therapist, why does she want to be with me? Her answer; being with you makes her feel more normal-- your emotions are something she wants to feel and can't but being with you is as close as she can come to it. People who are in relationships with narcissits need also to ask an important question; what about "me" made me so vulnerable to them?
Otherwise, there's god chance that you will fall for the same type of person again, especially if you have no other role model. In my experience dating as an adult, while truly narcissistic personality disorder may be a small percentage of the population, a tremendous number of people have emotional capacity that is quite limited. By definition half the population is below average to begin with; the percentage of people available after broken adult relationships?
People with limited emotional capacity can actually be happy together as long as everything goes smoothly enough that hey don't need or want much emotional support from their partners. But people with large emotional capacity need to stay away from the ones with little emotional capacity. The former will always feel like they don't get what they need and the latter will always feel like they are failing to give enough. Thanks for your comments.
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I can't believe what I've endured. My father tried to save me from marriage to her 30 years ago. But I had already moved. The hook was set. She manipulates everything.
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Got most I my retirement. Now wants to pursue more property. She testifies to my abuse but all I did was run away whenever she had one of her tirades.
I felt warn out. Not to say its anything like combat but it grinds you quietly Kids are mostly detached. I got a tenant who used my money while she earned hers. Never had a wife. It's truly amazing the posts that have come in sharing these incredible and painful stories. It was an interesting experience writing this book and learning about how much work there is to do for others to understand this disorder especially when it hits the court system.
For those who have read that far, I would love your thoughts on that as well. We would also love to have you join us on Facebook where we will continue the discussion with recovery tips and support. I cannot wait to read more of your book as your article is so spot-on, concise, and accurately depicts the shock, pain and awe these types of people can cause. I appreciate your thoroughness and educating others.
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Thank you thank you thank you! I used to become frustrated trying to explain to others bc it seems so fantastical and exaggerated. The drama children of a narcissistic parent deal with can not be overstated. My father was undiagnosed NPD. His example as a father and person was the worse kind of role model. Children learn by watching and doing and my father has pretty much ruined us in surprising and not so surprising ways. My mother was the complete opposite and as most spouses of narcissists know she suffered physically, and emotionally until she dumped him.
The children he favored grew up to be narcissists or have narcissistic behaviors themselves. The ones he didn't like struggle with poor self images. Everyone is affected. There are six of us in total and at least 2 have followed in his footsteps and the saddest part is that they readily acknowledge that our father was a narcissist without being able to see it in themselves. I feel for their kids. They are tyrants!
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Life with my father was always filled with drama. There was always something to go crazy about even with the very smallest of problems. He never seemed to be able to sit still--he had no peace. He either presented himself as a savior or victim.
He believed it was his job to be judge and executioner. Compassion and mercy were behaviors he was incapable of showing. He never said he loved his family. I think it never occurred to him. Putting his family first was impossible for him because that would require him not to put his own needs and desire before ours. Families with a person with NPD are usually fragmented. The children are the hardest hit as they try to get what they need when they feel it isn't coming from that one person they look to for security--their parent. I can't describe the terror I felt when my father was around.
I never liked, relied or trusted him--ever. His narcissistic behavior didn't come across as self absorption but as hatred towards us. It has been a really, really long time since I last spoke to him but the effects are long lasting. No contact is the best a non NPD parent can do for their children and the worst is exposure. When my mom divorced my dad I realized there are two kinds of suffering: the first is the kind one has living with a narcissist and the second is when trying to rid yourself of one. The latter is so much better because without them there are moments of sanity and peace.
My father was a narcissist with all the charm and rejection of anyone who did not look, behave, see the world as he did. His sister believes his personality was mostly formed by his mother's doting attention. I know he did not have a good relationship with his father. I know there was no abuse. I currently am raising my 16 year old son with my partner, his biological mother She cannot say no to my son.
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I have the great majority of expectations, basic chores. He is generally a good kid but "plays" us, asks her for everything if there is any chance I will say "no. I no longer hope that she can see this as damaging to him, do not believe she will change.